1. |
And Going
04:57
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I woke up today
On earth, once again
Working and breathing and eating and sleeping but rarely now speaking
I ask why I’m still here
Hemming and hawing
Hoping for happiness, sinking back down to the madness, my silhouette, fear
Ah, ah, ah
Waves of emotion
Falling down on me
Back and forth endlessly
Ah, ah, ah
It creeps up on me
Positive and negativity
A pendulum ever swinging
Oh life keeps moving
All carillons and horns from the towers of men have not stopped
So I’ll keep floating
Around and around on this rock where the days keep on going and going and going and going and going around
Or maybe I won’t
I’m really not sure
Is there a heaven, a hell, a beyond, or a place without scorn
Oh I know I’m still here
Walking and breathing
Able to see all the beauty, the grieving, the wonder, the scheming of now
Ah, ah, ah
Bound by the cycle
Up and down it seems
The seasons keep on turning
Ah, ah, ah
Seismographic thinking
Mind of April growing like the leaves
But soon October’s calling
Oh so soon the earthquake's coming
And the waves will swallow us all up
In two places I always seem to be
But neither seems quite right to me
But life keeps going
And the bells of the towers, the sand in the glass will not stop
So I'll keep floating
Around and around on this rock where the days keep on going, the sun keeps on rising, the flowers keep blooming, the leaves keep on growing, the moon keeps on glowing
And this is an incredible existence
Just because it is an existence
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2. |
Primal Haze
03:37
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Shimmering sequin dress
Cherry red lipstick
Eye shadow that lights your eyes like roman candle sticks
Stunning look tonight
You’re on fire babe
Nothing can compare to your complete enthralling vicious gaze
Oh I just want
I just want
I just want you in my primal haze
I don’t want to think of the days that I can call my own
I want a her so I could be half to a whole
I don’t want to think of the way that I’ll sit alone
On a desk chair throne till the sun dies out
(I will take you to outer space
Up to the moon
I will take you to see the stars
Out to infinity)
You have to know the game
But you have to know the truth:
No one is so scary as the mind that makes the move
Glowing radiant hair
And your sunlit skin
Parading around the room with that infectious grin
Parlay paradise
If I ever ask
Will you walk beyond the curtain in togetherness at last
Oh I just want
Oh I just want
You in my arms I know
There’re still places we can go
I don’t want to be alone again
Again
I don’t want to think of the days that I can call my own
I want a her so I could be half to a whole
I don’t want to think of the way that I’ll sit alone
On a desk chair throne till the sun dies out
(I will take you to outer space
Up to the moon
I will take you to see the stars
Out to infinity)
You have to know the game
But you have to know the truth:
No one is so scary as the mind that makes the move
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3. |
20th Century Child
06:02
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One hundred years from now
A mecca of chromatic sights and sounds
An automatic state of being
Organic souls confound
The brain of silicon controls the cloud
No time or space, no limitation
But I won’t be here for it
No I can never know it
I was born a 20th century child
The past is laid to die
The present not so far behind
All cannot stop progressing forward
Why must I see the world pass me by
Once so young and amazed, that wondrous dream
Now a fake of the smile, I stare to space with nothing to see
No way to grow but older, weaker still
In a window of wonder, laughter, pain
Of a magical journey, cut too short, the bodies faint
Your everything is a raindrop
A dot of blue from afar
A modicum in the madrigal of shooting stars
One million years from now
An ocean of emphatic acid towns
Abandoned origin, decaying
But we are everything
The flesh is gone, the metal is the mean
We are the cosmos, but can we sing
Well I won’t be here for it
And I can never know it
I am just a 20th century child
But I know that there’s still time to live it up
And I know that I’m as young as I’ll ever be
But my head is so far from the grounded place
Can’t stop the need to escape the mortal face
And I know that it’s still so damn early
All these dreams are still so possible surely
But my head is so far from a grounded truth
All I want is to follow the sound of youth
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4. |
Recluse
03:50
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Falling like an icicle in rain
Towards the ground
My dear
I fear
All I have is misery to give
Anymore
My dear
It scares me
I scare me when I’m lonely
In the middle of my sinner’s machinations
I don’t need you
But the middle of the inner validation
Cored, hollow through
The heart
Torn up and shattered to shards
Gem state’s abated recluse
I just want to go back home
Spiral down like helicopter seeds
Plant myself
In weeds
I feed
Every single apathetic thought
Make them true
My dear
It scares me
I scare me when I’m lonely
Creeping in the corner is a terrifying thought
Displaying openly unspoken ways of seeing what we’ve got
Nothing on this planet will be here when we’re lost
Just ignore the end pretend your life will never be forgot
In this beautiful dream we’re having
In the middle of distracted entertainments
I don’t need you
But the symbols of my lonely trepidation
Can’t stop their worming ways
Becoming my thoughts today
Ada’s perturbed recluse
I just want to go back home
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5. |
Be This Way
06:12
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Your mind can’t hold this weight
She won’t come ‘round for you anymore
You’ve made yourself a prisoner
To another one, you’ve become enslaved
But you must know she doesn’t matter
You must know she doesn’t care anymore
You don’t have to feel this way
You don’t have to feel this way
All the people, walking around, passing by you
They’re not talking to you, no they’ll never get to know you, they’re just
Part of your peripheral vision - just a figure
Wonder who they are but know you’ll never know for sure
All it takes is one, so they say, but who are they
They’ll never be stuck in your shoes, they’ll never walk the road alone with you
In a freefall one day; next day, high as heaven
Get me off this see-saw, I don’t need to be a happy hellspawn
Or angry angel
No it’s okay, I’m right as rain
Hyper-detached
Never come back
Suffocated by
Everything and everyone, these sensory overloading times
I just want to be normal for once
I just want my head not to explode
I can’t stop the overstimulation
So I can’t help but watch my distance grow
And yes,
It’s hard
Being on your own
But I love to be alone
This feeling, oil and water
Of needing love with space
Some room between embrace
A balancing act, the plates would fall so hard I know it
It’s all a circus, a whisper in my ear, ‘don’t blow it’
So why now even try, I say
I hate my fucking mind, I say
I hate my fucking mind, I say
Your mind can’t bear this weight
This world won’t stop for you anymore
Don’t make yourself a prisoner
You don’t have to play, by these modern rules
Oh you must know it doesn’t matter
You must know you’ll never be anyone
So you don’t have to feel this way
You don’t have to feel this way
You don’t have to feel this way
You don’t have to be this way
You don’t have to be this way
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6. |
Animal
05:55
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Can’t stay in place
Now that it’s all changed again
I don’t have to have a home
Nomad, wanderer, made to roam
Lately lying down with torment cluttering my head, I’ve found
I can’t sleep at all, this recall casts a nagging doubt:
A soul,
Only in this lonely human body, material
Tongue-tied, flawed and cast aside, yet so real and all I know
All I know
Am I just an animal
Chemical reactions, DNA, synapses, are they the human soul
Here to there
Then there to gone
Please don’t act like I belong
Run away
I’m still the same
Somewhere is there more
Is there more
Rain is falling down, this flood is covering my head, right now
Trapped within the physical, within the sensory I’m fed
Take it all away, just let it go, all material
Spirit, if you are at all, take me somewhere, where I’ll know
Where I’ll know
I am not an animal
Beautifully distracted, pointless and erratic, only flesh and bone
Am I not a spirit soul
Infinite in purpose, somewhere weightless where all joy befalls
Just keep moving
Get closer
Keep moving
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7. |
Holy Ghost
04:17
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Holy ghost above the periphery
Sewn by saltless people, in misery
In a foreign land I feel the fire in my eyes
From the way love was portrayed so wicked and cruel in mine
In a future scene
Where good people burn
In a worthless life
Of unending hurt
In the foreign throes of fabled minds, just a little while
It’s impossible to understand where the truth survives
I just want to know what’s real
I want us to be alright
Your face under moonlight’s sheen
Seeing the glow and wondering why
You have to be lost to time
A wrinkled then vanished light
The ghost in the moonlight fades
A wraith in the void is made
Holy ghost, we’re just a little while
Say a prayer tonight just to reconcile
All the love I thought I had is near for a little while
All my reverence for real love is clear for a little while
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8. |
Nought
07:06
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I don’t want to break
But I’ve never felt so fractured
In my head
There’s nothing to say
I don’t want to think about this
Bitter end
I don’t want to think about what I don’t know
Everything to chance, just let the darkest feelings go
Something’s the matter with me at night
I can’t quite see past the final light
All things, the matter of which I know
Should I stay to see what may grow
I know I can’t take
All these earthly tribulations
Beating me dead
I don’t mean to say
I don’t see this world creating
Some goodness
But the voice inside surmises it’s all vain
Contradicting thoughts abounding, goodness-contra-pain
All things will go with the passing time
Though so understanding, I ask why
Somehow I have to overcome
All these deathly thoughts of ends and dones
I can’t stop now, stop now
I can’t stop now, stop now
Feeling the pressure
The grip in which I’m caught
Pulling me under
The great infinite nought
I’ll be a wanderer
A lost and loveless cloud
I’ll be your boredom
Your gray impassive thought
I DON’T WANT TO DIE
(I CAN’T STOP NOW)
Oh you know that sooner now the light is out
I cannot breathe, I cannot cope, I can’t believe, I can’t make sense of this
A mind, so real, is gone, there’s nothing left for me to say
But maybe angels sing above, and maybe demons creep
I don’t want to think about what I don’t know
Everything to chance, just let the darkest feelings go
I can’t help but think about what I can’t know
Everything to chance, just let the moments ebb and flow
But I don’t want to die
I DON’T WANT TO DIE
(I CAN’T STOP NOW)
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